NOT ENOUGH COFFEE by C Lifford (based on a true story)

Scene: early morning. kitchen.

Harried MOM attempts to cut bagel while hysterically screaming young children fight over a yellow balloon.


(shrieking) He wants my balloon!!!


(tersely) You have two balloons.  Stop screaming.  Share.




(frustratedly hacking at bagel with knife) Stop screaming right now or the balloons go away.


(ear-piercing shrieking continues)


(turns quickly with knife in hand, stabs both balloons)

Pan to shocked DAD.  Pan back to smiling MOM.

13 responses to “NOT ENOUGH COFFEE by C Lifford (based on a true story)”

  1. Rob L.

    Looking back on it, it really was rather awesome.

  2. Mom

    Oh, yes…the stab the balloons consequence. I remember it well! It’s so damn gratifying!

  3. Regina

    That’s hilarious.

  4. jodi

    oh, man, that was satisfying even just reading it. Awe. Some.

  5. Elizabeth


  6. Rebecca

    Yes, preach it sister. That is EXACTLY what I would have done!

  7. Amber

    Ha Ha Ha Ha! I love this!!!! This is my true story too! You rock.

  8. Cecil

    The pilot who landed in the middle of the Hudson, has NOTHING on you when it comes to quick, decisive action, Dear Girl!!! …a real hero to moms everywhere!

  9. Kate

    haaa haaa haa! awesome!

  10. Kardos

    That… is…. Awesome!!!

    “I’ll give you something to cry about” to the EXTREME!!

  11. Melanie

    Yes, that’s what I would have done, too. Well played, Cheris!

  12. Stacy C

    oh my gosh, I am laughing so hard I am crying!! That is AWESOME.

  13. Katie

    I knew there was a reason you are my hero.

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