My life is flashing before my eyes…


…in our dining room. Recently Rob imported our old digital camera photos into the slide show screen saver we constantly have running. This made me surprisingly happy. Before this, the slide show was mainly of Violet, the most well documented child on the planet. But our old camera came with us during our travels in Asia and around this country, including our first years in Austin. It’s my life before kids. Do you hear that people? I had a life before kids! And I am so happy to be reminded of that on a daily basis. Since our “office” is in a corner of the dining room, during dinner Violet is mesmerized by the images and asks “What’s that?” “Whatcha doin’ Mommy?” “Who’s that?”. I’m glad she gets a chance to see her parents doing things outside of carting her around the playground.


But sometimes, remembering my old life is a kind of torture akin to slaving away on homework while the other kids play in the sprinklers. So when I got an email that Stephan Krashen was a guest lecturer for a small class in my old Foreign Language Education department at UT, I jumped at the chance for a little “adult world” time. Dr. Krashen is, as Rob said, a “rock star of language acquisition research”. So I snuck into the back of the classroom with Graham and excitedly listened, practically keeling over with nerdy delight when a quarter of the lecture went into random theories of how Star Trek’s universal translator is possible. Still, I was a bit of a freak being the only one toting a newborn. And I learned that, in a quiet classroom, Graham is a very noisy nurser.

So, I know it’s kind of cliche to bemoan the loss of self after having kids. But really, it wouldn’t be cliche if it weren’t overwhelmingly true. (Here’s yet another example from a friend of mine).

How to reconcile this is a work in progress.

One response to “My life is flashing before my eyes…”

  1. melanie

    I had a similar experience a few weeks ago when we went to Boulder/Denver. The whole time, I was reliving all the footloose and fancy free times I had there as a single grad student. We hung out with friends with whom I would spend that footloose time doing … whatever. Game nights, drinking too much, watching movies really late, playing pool after class on Friday until nearly Saturday morning, etc. I miss those days, for sure, and I keep telling myself that one day, I’ll miss these days when all H wants is to hang out with me.

    Then maybe I’ll get to sleep in/read the paper!

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