Yes, add machines to the list of things that hate us. My computer has been in the shop for what seems like weeks. An ugly reminder of how much of our lives are tied to this modern convenience.
Then our remote control died. It must seem supremely lazy of us to complain about, but consider that our air conditioner (which also hates us) is deafening. So not only do we have to get up to change the channel, but whenever the A/C comes on we have to heave ourselves off the sofa to turn up the volume. Accordingly, we have to get up when the A/C shuts off in order to turn the volume down again. Correction: we have to leap up and sprint to the TV before the cacphony wakes the sleeping baby. Not that we get much time to zone in front of the tube, but, come on, can’t a couple of exhausted parents simply relax during those golden hours between toddler/grown-up bedtimes?
Then, our old Ford Contour died. This was especially insulting because we’d just acquired more crushing financial debt… um, I mean, we’d just bought a “new” car. After 8 months of struggling to be a one-car family, we were giddily running separate errands and whatnot… for a week. As if in a jealous rage, the Contour coughed up the alternator and we were looking down the barrel of a $400+ repair. “What’s another week of car sharing?” we said, chuckling insanely. Happy ending, though. Our heroic friend, Emil saved the day (and $400) by helping us put in a “new” alternator. The subsequent thank you dinner was noodles, stuck to the bottom of the pan, jarred sauce, no parmesan and wilted salad. I rock.
While all of this is going on, our kitchen and garage lights have somehow mysteriously shorted out. So we’d been operating in a kitchen dimly lit by only the tiny stove and sink lights. (Yes, I know, electrical systems aren’t really “machines” per se, but they’re still lumped under the category of “things I can’t fix”.) Another happy ending, though. Our other heroic friend, Craig the Electrician saved the day by repairing both. Now our kitchen and garage are so glaringly bright that I am forced to clean the newly revealed layers of grime. The subsequent thank you dinner was burned chicken sausages, which he is (thankfully) allergic to, and grilled carrots, which he is allergic to. I, once again, rock.
So since everything we touch seems to fall apart, we’re collecting handy friends. There are currently openings for Remote Control Repairmen, Garage Door Opener Repairmen and Drywall Repairmen. Benefits include sub-par meals and beer.