We’ve been trying to teach Graham sign language, really we have.  But it’s a much more difficult task when your hands are busy doing something for the first born child.  So the boy has not picked up as many signs as early as Violet.  But he is talking more and earlier than Violet.  Maybe that is because she is always around, yakking.

Still, the language explosion is ramping up.  Along with the signs he is finally excitedly gathering (“helicopter” and “dolphin” being his favorites) we’re hearing more words every day.  And yet, interestingly, Graham has his own language.  I find it hard to explain how odd this is.  He’s not babbling.  He’s not trying out new sounds.  He’s talking.  In his own language.  He’s got syntax, grammar, intonation, vocabulary used for very specific situations.  He’ll speaks for paragraphs to someone and then pause, waiting for a response.  Everyone looks at me for a translation, but I have no idea.  It’s a mystery.  And amazing.

Four days after his first birthday Graham took his first solo steps: into the arms of a daycare staff member at the health club.

Sigh.

Okay, I’m a little bitter. I stay at home with the kids, in part, to be able to see these milestones myself rather than get a report from a third party. But we have been going to the gym 4 days a week since the kids were 6 weeks old, so it was bound to happen at some point. In any case, he was very proud as he let go and toddled over to me.

This isn’t a surprise. We’d all been waiting since it was clear that his commando crawl was frustrating him to no end. Really, how fast can one go using only the toes and forearms. He does crawl like a real baby at times, but what he really longs to do is catch up with Violet.

Oma & Apa wanted to witness his first steps when they visited in March, since they’d seen Violet take hers. Gramma & Grampa thought for sure he’d walk while they were here a couple weeks ago. At least they hoped, since he was breaking their backs by insisting on walking around holding their index fingers in an iron grip. But no. He saved his proud moment for Gold’s Gym.

The day before he’d had his year checkup.

• weight: 20 lbs 6 oz (25th %) (we can turn the carseat forward! yay!)
• height: 30″ (50th %)
• shots: 4 ouch (no fever this time)
• ear infection: 1 (his first. explains why he’s been so cranky)
• teeth: 4 (2 top, 2 bottom)
• security object: any of my t-shirts
• hair: coming in red and blonde (thankfully he still looks like Rob)
• naps: 2
• signs: dog, bird, airplane, more, milk, wind, eat
• words: hi, Dada (grrrr…)
• birthday party: No cake! Scary cake! ….yummy cake… zzzz (sugar coma)

Maybe I’m a little melodramatic. The first time I came home from summer camp, I cried for two days. It’s not that I wasn’t happy to be home, it’s just that I knew that I’d never have a first camp experience again. So I needed a little mourning time. And I think I feel the same way about the end of our little 3 person family.

So to freeze this phase in our lives, here’s what Violet is doing these days. She talks and sings non-stop. Recently I asked her if she would like such-and-such. She said, “No I would NOT.” Whoa… when did she learn that? She’s also got “Yes, I am”, “Yes, I do” and their negatives down. Pronouns are increasingly easy for her, so it annoys me to no end that I still sometimes refer to myself in the third person. She’s usually a whiz with her pleases, thank-yous and your-welcomes, which makes me unreasonably happy. The blends are still difficult, so snail is “nail” and clip is “cip”. It’s unfortunate that “tr” is usually replaced by “f” and “st” is replaced by “d” because she often loudly discusses trucks and sticks in public. Oh, and she has a baby lisp, which sometimes makes her sound like Vizzini from The Princess Bride. “Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!”

She still falls back on whining a bit too much, especially when tired, hungry or frustrated. We’re working on it. She’s has recently ratcheted up the tantrum scream a notch. But it’s so obviously just a show most of the time, I almost want to laugh. Time-outs have worked pretty well; she actually seems to need the 2-minute breather. Then she puts all her dolls (and sometimes daddy) into time out, afterwards carefully explaining why, making them apologize and giving them a hug. All of this is done in a high-pitched “mothering” voice, while the toys respond in various accents.

After the past six months of huge jumps in oral language, she is suddenly interested in signing again. She loves watching sign language videos and seems completely amused by the whole idea. She’s also keenly aware of the hand motions that go along with kids’ songs… and rhymes in general. The other day she sighed happily, “I LOVE nursery rhymes.” Of course, right now she changes the ends of most lyrics to “pee” and then rhymes it with “pee”, laughing hysterically. Toilet humor is clearly a big hit.

As far as actually using the potty… no real interest yet. That’s something we’ll worry about after the shock of “the invader” wears off. And we’ll save the “big girl bed” transition for later too. One thing I’ve learned is that when Violet is ready for something, she’s ready, and not a moment earlier. Must choose battles carefully.

And there are a million other things, which I say I’m going to document daily. But I just can’t. I’ll just mention that yesterday Violet lifted my shirt stared straight into my popped-out belly button and said, “Baby brother, come out soon? Play?”

Well, I’m certainly not going to get all freaked out about it. Clearly this woman is somewhat ill informed… but she’s a pediatrician, not a linguist. Still, I have noticed that most kids Violet’s age do speak more than she does. Thing is, they all get their ideas across. And Violet was able to do this very well starting around 12 months. I think that has helped immensely, especially with Violet’s… um… temperament. Some of her most frustrating moments are when she can’t communicate. She seems so relieved when she learns how to sign about something. So, a tad late in talking seems quite worth it to me.

But in addition to her uncanny musical ability, she is learning to talk. And let me just say, a cuter thing cannot be fathomed. I love it when we pull into the driveway and she gleefully shouts “home!”; then she asks, “Dada home?” Except tonight she just started saying “Daddy”. I think I’m going to pass out from sheer joy when she says “Mommy”. So far her attempts are something like “Mowmy” and she resorts to “Mama” again. That’s fine. Mama is cool. But I have discovered I am a “Mommy” at heart. Go figure. Meanwhile, my mom is positively foaming at the mouth for Violet’s first attempt at “Granny”.

Violet likes to go for a “wah” (walk) and pick up “wra” (rocks) and stand against the “wa” (wall) while she asks “wehw waw?” (where’s the water?). Yes, they all sound the same to an un-mommy-trained ear. Which is another reason I think the signing is helpful. She often uses signs in conjunction with the spoken words she is working on, so it’s much clearer to us what she’s trying to say. Thus, less frustration, thus, less screaming and crying. Yay!

Other new-ish things she’s saying: “baaaaybeh” (baby, kind of sounds like a construction worker’s cat-call”), “ba” (bath), “weh” (wet), “dih down” (sit down), “ih up” (get up), “an up” (stand up), “hel” (help), and “Wajee” (Violet). We can’t quite figure out if this is just her preliminary attempt at her name or if she wants to be called Wajee.

Eh… whatever works.

On Tuesday we went to a free class at My-Gym (coughwishlistcough). While we were waiting for the other moms to show up, Violet looked at me very seriously and made the sign for “toilet”. She had that expression of total concentration, which usually preceeds a diaper change. Disbelievingly, I checked her diaper. Nothing. This happened three more times. Look, sign, check. Look, sign, check. Look, sign, check.On the forth try, bingo! poop. This was truly amazing to me. I didn’t even know she understood the connection between the sign and the act. Granted, every time she visits us in the bathroom we make the sign and try to explain what’s going on. But she gave no indication that anything was getting through. I thought she was just copying us. Was it a fluke? Hmmm… maybe.

My-Gym was baby paradise… except for the “circle-time” in which we’re supposed to sit with our infants on our laps, singing songs and clapping. Violet said, “You idiots! Look at all this stuff we can climb on! I am so outta here!” So I was the one mom chasing her toddler while the other kids obediently marched around clockwise and counterclockwise. After class we headed out to buy a training toilet.

Violet is very interested in her new potty “toy”. She likes to put her feet in it and sit on the edge of the seat. She likes to open and close the lid. She likes to be nekkid and sit there laughing at me while I make grotesque sound effects in an attempt to encourage some potty-action. It’s all a blast for her. For me? Not so much. On the plus side, she has continued to sign before going… or immediately after. So I guess it wasn’t a fluke. But early potty-training is probably too much to hope for. If nothing else, this signing will keep her from getting diaper rash, or at least inform us she needs a change before the stench reaches the far corners of the universe.

Meanwhile, in language-nerd land, Violet has moved to the next level of language acquisition: two-word sentences! Apparently this is a milestone. Yesterday, on several occassions she signed “more apple” and “eat cheese”. Dang it if that isn’t cute. Still, we wanted to teach her sign language so we could know what she wants without the whining. But now it’s hard to encourage her to keep up with the communication without letting her eat her body weight in blueberries.

As far as actual speaking, she has rediscovered the “g” sound. So babbling is a little more varied. Still likes “hi, idea” though. But she’s quite fond of explaining what a dog says (grunt grunt grunt) and what a kitty says (“mawm mawm”) and what a bird says (a kind of high pitched noise that has no onomatopoeia). Still, sometimes I get the feeling she’s only doing it to humor me, and wondering why her mommy is so dumb that she can’t remember what a fricken bird says.

Oh, and she got her fifth skinned knee today. Nobody ever told me you can’t keep a band-aid on a toddler. What are you supposed to do about that?

Then, at around 12 months, something clicked. Bird was really her first sign. She’s always been a wiz at the pincer grip, so “bird” was a natural. Now she excitedly tells us when she sees or hears a bird. After that, the signs kept coming. And she’s picking them up faster. It’s amazing to watch. She’s so proud that she’s actually communicating with us. In fact, she’ll often tell me something I’m not aware of; I’ll see her signing “dog” and realize there is a dog barking in the distance that I hadn’t noticed.

Sometimes we have to consider context, though. She doesn’t have the more subtle limb movements down yet, so signs that are are close to the mouth, like “eat”, “water” and “kitty”, for example, all seem a little too similar sometimes. “Horse” and “cow” are the same right now.  I’m not sure if she thinks they’re the same kind of animal, or if she just can’t get her thumb out. And she heroically struggles to get both fingers to work together for “dance”.

One of the most interesting things I’ve seen, though, is the sign-babbling. I’m not sure if it’s the same sign-babbling that deaf babies do, or even hearing babies of deaf parents. But she definitely goes into her own head and practices hand movements over and over; going from “hat” to “down” to “cow”, or something she’s trying to make up herself, I guess. Also, when she’s obviously attempting to tell me something she doesn’t know the word for, she’ll quickly go through the signs she knows before she gives up. I wish I had a more extensive vocabulary, just to help her out in that situation.

We watch “Signing Times” on PBS every Thursday at 8 a.m. It’s a fun show. I’m not sure if it’s helping Violet right now, but she loves to dance and sing to the songs.