I can’t really fathom what a huge change this is going to make in my life.  Aside from two mornings a week, I’ve had Violet home with me for five years.  Five and a half.  That’s a long time to keep a tiny maniac from completing her plans of world domination.  Yes I’ll still be at home with Graham, but that is another story entirely.  I must say I am really looking forward to spending time with him.  He has been competing for attention since the day he was born and I’d love to see him relax and know he doesn’t have to try so hard.  I want to make cookies, do art projects, garden, with just him.  These are things I do with both kids, but generally Violet has to star in the show.

Which is why I am not worried about how she will do in school; even with the dual-language. I mean, in some ways I feel like I should warn her teachers, but I’d hate to give them preconceived notions.  Example: During swim lessons this summer the teen-aged instructor finally got fed up with Violet and another girl giggling and inching away from class.  They got sent into Time Out.  The girl burst into tears.  Violet looked at her with an expression of extreme surprise and said, “What are you crying for?  It’s just Time Out!”  I really hope her kindergarten teachers know how to channel that energy rather than sending her to endless exhile.  Her other “schools” never seemed to be able to do that.

I’ll admit it; when I was little, I was the kid who cried when disciplined. My personality is so opposite Violet’s that I often think she is some kind of alien child; like that dream I had when I was pregnant with her actually came true.   It’s clear I subconsciously assumed that if I had a girl she would be a mini-me; that I would always be able to relate to her and, thus, be better able to help her.  The truth is, although she looks more like me each day, she is a mini-Rob: outgoing, talkative, creative, high-energy, a leader, a performer, impossibly smart.  I don’t know what advice I could possibly offer to that kind of kid.  And will I understand her less and less the more she is gone?

We’re going to miss her.  She and Graham have decided they want to be twins so they can be together all day.  I just wish I could be a fly on the wall while she navigates through this next step.  I don’t want to rescue her, I just want to watch.  That would be the best reality TV show ever.

We’ve been trying to teach Graham sign language, really we have.  But it’s a much more difficult task when your hands are busy doing something for the first born child.  So the boy has not picked up as many signs as early as Violet.  But he is talking more and earlier than Violet.  Maybe that is because she is always around, yakking.

Still, the language explosion is ramping up.  Along with the signs he is finally excitedly gathering (“helicopter” and “dolphin” being his favorites) we’re hearing more words every day.  And yet, interestingly, Graham has his own language.  I find it hard to explain how odd this is.  He’s not babbling.  He’s not trying out new sounds.  He’s talking.  In his own language.  He’s got syntax, grammar, intonation, vocabulary used for very specific situations.  He’ll speaks for paragraphs to someone and then pause, waiting for a response.  Everyone looks at me for a translation, but I have no idea.  It’s a mystery.  And amazing.

Four days after his first birthday Graham took his first solo steps: into the arms of a daycare staff member at the health club.

Sigh.

Okay, I’m a little bitter. I stay at home with the kids, in part, to be able to see these milestones myself rather than get a report from a third party. But we have been going to the gym 4 days a week since the kids were 6 weeks old, so it was bound to happen at some point. In any case, he was very proud as he let go and toddled over to me.

This isn’t a surprise. We’d all been waiting since it was clear that his commando crawl was frustrating him to no end. Really, how fast can one go using only the toes and forearms. He does crawl like a real baby at times, but what he really longs to do is catch up with Violet.

Oma & Apa wanted to witness his first steps when they visited in March, since they’d seen Violet take hers. Gramma & Grampa thought for sure he’d walk while they were here a couple weeks ago. At least they hoped, since he was breaking their backs by insisting on walking around holding their index fingers in an iron grip. But no. He saved his proud moment for Gold’s Gym.

The day before he’d had his year checkup.

• weight: 20 lbs 6 oz (25th %) (we can turn the carseat forward! yay!)
• height: 30″ (50th %)
• shots: 4 ouch (no fever this time)
• ear infection: 1 (his first. explains why he’s been so cranky)
• teeth: 4 (2 top, 2 bottom)
• security object: any of my t-shirts
• hair: coming in red and blonde (thankfully he still looks like Rob)
• naps: 2
• signs: dog, bird, airplane, more, milk, wind, eat
• words: hi, Dada (grrrr…)
• birthday party: No cake! Scary cake! ….yummy cake… zzzz (sugar coma)

Graham declared that he could no longer sleep in his tiny co-sleeper — or with us — since our tossing and turning and breath-checking was keeping him awake. And to prove it, he slept in his room in his crib ALL. NIGHT. LONG. That’s right, people, from 9 p.m. to 6:30 a.m. (Of course I was awake at 3:30 anyway… breath-checking) I suspect that this was just a teaser and he will continue to team up with Violet in ensuring no parents get a full night’s sleep for many years to come.

Violet is once again learning how to be polite. She kind of gave it up when Graham was born and prefers us to prompt her to say please every single time she asks for something. So I decided to give her a new linguistic challenge: “Could I ____, please?” She seemed to enjoy figuring out this new structure. For someone learning the language, it must be strange to find out that “I want water” gives a completely different impression than “Could I have some water, please?”. After all, we learn the former first. Who made up these rules, anyway? My ESL students struggled with this issue a lot.

Oh, and Violet also draws suns now.