I can’t really fathom what a huge change this is going to make in my life.  Aside from two mornings a week, I’ve had Violet home with me for five years.  Five and a half.  That’s a long time to keep a tiny maniac from completing her plans of world domination.  Yes I’ll still be at home with Graham, but that is another story entirely.  I must say I am really looking forward to spending time with him.  He has been competing for attention since the day he was born and I’d love to see him relax and know he doesn’t have to try so hard.  I want to make cookies, do art projects, garden, with just him.  These are things I do with both kids, but generally Violet has to star in the show.

Which is why I am not worried about how she will do in school; even with the dual-language. I mean, in some ways I feel like I should warn her teachers, but I’d hate to give them preconceived notions.  Example: During swim lessons this summer the teen-aged instructor finally got fed up with Violet and another girl giggling and inching away from class.  They got sent into Time Out.  The girl burst into tears.  Violet looked at her with an expression of extreme surprise and said, “What are you crying for?  It just Time Out!”  I really hope her kindergarten teachers know how to channel that energy rather than sending her to endless exhile.  Her other “schools” never seemed to be able to do that.

I’ll admit it; when I was little, I was the kid who cried when disciplined. My personality is so opposite Violet’s that I often think she is some kind of alien child; like that dream I had when I was pregnant with her actually came true.   It’s clear I subconsciously assumed that if I had a girl she would be a mini-me; that I would always be able to relate to her and, thus, be better able to help her.  The truth is, although she looks more like me each day, she is a mini-Rob: outgoing, talkative, creative, high-energy, a leader, a performer, impossibly smart.  I don’t know what advice I could possibly offer to that kind of kid.  And will I understand her less and less the more she is gone?

We’re going to miss her.  She and Graham have decided they want to be twins so they can be together all day.  I just wish I could be a fly on the wall while she navigates through this next step.  I don’t want to rescue her, I just want to watch.  That would be the best reality TV show ever.

While we were on Long Island we went to visit Nana at the Arbors Assisted Living.  Bringing children to a nursing home is like bringing a cake to a Weight Watchers meeting.  The old folks gathered around, looking like they wanted to reach out and pet the kids, inhale them, eat them up.  Nana, filled with anxiety over this, would loudly proclaim to anyone creeping near, “OKAY, SEE YOU LATER. LATER! I’M TRYING TO TALK TO MY FAMILY.  GOOD-BYE! GO TO THE TV ROOM!! NOW!!”  She used her walker to block anyone’s access to the kids.  At one point I thought she would pick it up and  beat back an old lady who was stretching her hand toward Graham’s hair.  Another elderly woman tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Enjoy the children now.  It goes so fast.”

This is something I’ve heard so many times it makes me cringe.   Of course I know that.  But it’s hard to fathom when lack of sleep doubles the length of your days, or when tantrums last several hours, or when food you’ve spent too much time preparing gets refused, or when any request turns into an argument, or when any errand is a mammoth effort of logistics.  These have been the slowest quickest years of my life.

But I’m finally starting to really feel the passage of time.  This has a lot to do with more sleep, fewer tantrums, kids who sometimes listen to reason and occasionally put on their clothes and get in the car without major drama.  I first noticed it in February: The Month of Sick.  It’s amazing how losing 1/12th of the year can make time feel slippery.  March through May always speeds by in Austin because the weather is so amazing and the town is buzzing with festivals and hiking and weekends packed with fun.  Soon it was June.  The rest of the summer has been non-stop visits from family and friends as well as travel to  Buffalo, the beach, Long Island and Oregon.  Time has been condensed because we’re working around a new schedule: Kindergarten.

It starts ridiculously early here in Texas.  On August 23rd Violet will be gone from 7:15-2:45.  And every day after that.  Then time really will fly.  I’m trying to slow it down.  But I’m not really sure if it’s possible to “enjoy the children” enough.  Or how.  No one has told me that part yet.

So, I was going to do a whole long post about the World Cup, because this time we’ve got a kid playing soccer. And really, I only watch sports about once every four years, give or take Wimbledon.

But then I realized I’ve already done that. It’s still apt.  So I’ll save myself the effort. Check it out.  The last line just blows my mind.

This year we had a lot working for us: Graham is in a regular bed, the kids are expert travelers, missing a nap doesn’t lead to the apocalypse.  But it was still a million trillion degrees.

So when the boy woke up at 1:30 a.m. he was hot.  Very hot.  And pissed.  And confused.  There was a lot of screaming and rearranging and screaming and changing tents and screaming and offers to leave and screaming and peeing in the woods and screaming.  Things finally settled down around 2:30.

At 7 a.m. the mamas and kids were back home eating breakfast.  The dads, thankfully, cleaned up camp.  All in all it was an improvement.  And we learned that camping can be done.  It will just NEVER be done during the Texas summer again.  As with gardening, I’ve learned my lesson.

But all of this has made me homesick; homesick for “real” camping.  I mean the camping I remember as a kid: smelling the pine forests, following deer trails, throwing lava rocks into clear streams to see if they float, actually needing a fire during the chilly evenings.  But here we have Texas camping; getting stabbed by pointy plants, unable to veer off the path for fear of scorpions and poisonous snakes (we’ve got them all!), watching for water moccasins in murky streams, no campfire because of drought-induced burn bans.  It’s just not what I’m used to growing up in the Northwest.  And I wish I could experience NW camping with Violet and Graham.

So we’ll try winter camping here in Texas.  Or spring camping.  I’m sure it has its charms.  And maybe my kids will love their own camping memories:  hiding cactus in each other’s sleeping bags, snake scavenger hunts, tossing scorpions in the river to see if they float, etc…

into this:

I got to use circular, jig, table and miter saws, electric drill, screwdriver and sander, power stapler, clamps, levels, squares, saw horses, wrenches, hammers, not to mention all sorts of timber and hardware.  I was like a kid in a candy store.  In fact, it was so fun I spent most of my kid-free time working on the coop.

It was a lot more complicated than I initially though (isn’t that always the case?) but I like the design.  I downloaded it for $20 from The Garden Coop. (No, I am not one of those people who can throw together a structure using intuition and scrap material)  Then I spent about $270 on supplies and fancy-schmancy non-toxic paint.  A little pricey?  But consider that a pre-fab coop of this size runs a couple thousand dollars at least.

So, let’s say I save $10 a month on organic free-range eggs.  That means the chickens will pay for themselves in about two and a half years…

oh wait… I forgot I have to feed them… damn.

Violet is starting dual language kindergarten this fall!  This is the culmination of three years of hard work and, while it didn’t turn out exactly how I’d hoped, I am SO excited.  And terrified.  And relieved.  And… well… let’s just say there is a lot to think about.

Here’s our journey in a nutshell:

We moved to Austin after teaching English in Korea for 3 years.  I got into the Foreign Language Education Master’s program at UT.  After Violet was born I wondered what dual language program she would attend, only to realize that there isn’t one here.

So I started my own website to to to mobilize like-minded locals.  Then I joined forces with Austin Community School, a proposed dual language charter, and eventually became board secretary.  This was the only DL game in town.  What happened for the next 3 years was a lesson in how ridiculous, frustrating, and scary bureaucracy and educational politics can be, especially in Texas.   Add this to the usual strains of recruiting and working with volunteers in the world of non-profits and the result is a lot of work for not a lot of reward.

So ACS is not open… yet.  But what about Violet and Graham?  The way dual language education works is that kids start in kinder or 1st grade and stick with the program for at least 5 years.  If Violet misses that window she’s out of luck.

Thankfully a new superintendent swept into Austin, turning the district’s long held belief about bilingual education on its head.  ACS joined in the effort to get a DL program started in AISD.  Their board eventually voted to start 4 pilot programs this fall.

They held a lottery for the limited number of slots, and we won a spot!  Unfortunately, the program isn’t in our neighborhood school.  But it is in a school close to Rob’s work.  He’ll drop Violet off every morning.

So this is the end of the beginning.  Now we see exactly what we’ve gotten ourselves into.  I have ridiculous amounts to say on the subject.  And you know what that means…  a New Blog!  Yes, I’ll be pontificating about dual language immersion and our journey towards becoming a bilingual family.   It’s called “¿Y Ahora Que?” and so far there is absolutely nothing on it.  But put it in your feed reader anyway.

Now, I eventually learned to not be terrified of making phone calls, but it has never been my favorite thing.  (Okay, yes Dad, I admit to a phone fling in my teen years, but teenagers are just not normal.)  These days there is the double annoyance of children who cling to my leg and screech any time the receiver is next to my ear. I’m doomed.

Halle-freakin-lujah that the internet was invented.  This is a phone-a-phobe’s dream.  Why spend 15 minutes making a call when you can just shoot off an email that everyone can read at their leisure?

But I may have taken it too far.

Here I am today: Telephone Distaste + Email = Annoyed Friends and Family

Yes, I have managed to irk quite a few people because of my weirdness.  I’m sorry. I promise it’s not my intention.  And I promise I’ll try to be better.  But if it’s a yes or no question, can we meet halfway?  In cyberspace?  Thank you for  mollifying the crazy lady.

Here’s a picture from long ago.  But there is a phone, so it’s apt, right?  And Violet’s expression kind of sums it all up for me.

So almost a year ago we embarked on an experiment: put the kids in the same room for the summer.  Were we successful?

Well, that depends on how you define “success”.

If by success you mean that the kids learned to sleep in the same room happily all summer, then no.  We failed failed failed.

But let’s not focus on the negative, eh?  I’m counting the experience as a success because we accomplished two important things: 1) a smooth transition for Graham from crib to bed, and 2) the ability to survive family vacations.

I can’t take total credit for helping Graham deal with the weirdness of moving from a cozy crib to a giant bed.  Violet did all that for me.  He learned by example that big kids sleep in beds, with pillows and blankets.  Seems simple, but Violet had a very hard time with this when she was two.

As for the family vacations, while nights weren’t always perfect, it was such a relief to have flexibility in our sleeping arrangements.  We’ve gone to Oregon, Washington, New York, the hill country, and twice to the beach.  An added bonus is that when people visit us, the kids can be put in one room and the other can be used for guests.  (So come visit!  No more sleeping in the living room!  You’ll still have to wake up at the crack of dawn, though.)

What I’m trying to say is that we may have lost some battles, but we won the war.  (Okay, so technically we just won the sleep battle and the kids are still waging general war.  Update on that in a couple decades.)  Meanwhile, here are some room sharing tips:

• Don’t expect perfection the first night, or even the second.
• You may have to sit in the room with them until they are calm(ish).  Also, we are not above threats and bribes.
• If possible, position the beds so that the kids are out of each other’s direct line of sight.
• A sound machine can help.
• A toddler clock can help, especially in the morning.  (Be warned, you may have to physically dismantle the “alarm feature” because it “accidentally” gets turned on.  This enrages me like nothing else.)

Any other tips to add?  Vacations to invite us on?

So I asked for a Crash Course Sewing class at the Stitch Lab for Christmas.  My mom was nice enough to give me her sewing machine, and I’ve been telling myself for ages I’d learn how to do more than sew a straight line.  My in-laws were nice enough to get me that class and even babysit the kids while I went.  And isn’t the fabric awesome?  My step-mom, who has a good eye, a keen sense of frugality and a highly organized habit of hording cool items, was nice enough to give me these sheets she picked up on sale decades ago.  I’ve made curtains and framed  bits for Violet’s room, with yards left over.   More than enough for a little tote.

Seemed simple, but noooo… deceptively tricky bits of folding and ironing and stabbing myself with pins, etc.  But fun.  So fun.

Now I’m newly inspired to put my sewing machine to good use.  I’d love to make little dresses for Violet out of our favorite t-shirts, or hem pants into shorts for Graham, or just create something that doesn’t involve Elmer’s glue and construction paper.

Now to figure out how to find the time…

Most likely it will be something totally random and innocuous. My first memory is standing by my brother’s high chair looking at our shag carpet. I must have been about three.

How about you? What was your first memory? How old were you? It’s been awfully quiet out there, so I thought I’d ask.