Aaand how about a post that’s actually really new?

So apparently I am more up-to-date than I thought.  I’d already posted those tweets of Violet’s and completely forgotten about it.  (Thanks for nothing WordPress search function!)  But I’ll make up for it by posting new tweets… at least… I think they’re new… eh… whatever…

  • Mom! I cleaned my room! Actually, it was already clean, so I messed it up and then cleaned it.
  • (in car) Mom, why did you have to squish that spider? You should’ve thrown it out the window…. for a CAR to squish.
  • Even though I don’t have kids yet, I already love them.
  • If you drink punch, you’ll want to punch people.
  • It turns out I’m the best sister.
  • What’s the opposite of opposite?
  • I don’t want a little brother. It’s too hard.
  • January, February, March…. uuuummmm…. Jupiter!
  • You didn’t get to watch TV when you were a kid? But you let *us* because Graham is a Scream-Year-Old?”
  • I think Kermit is just Ernie dressed up in a frog suit.
  • Monster, let’s make a compromise. Instead of eating us, we can have a playdate. Okay?
  • I love you so much Daddy, but you need to brush your teeth.
  • How about we bring some bags of butter to space and then we can share with the aliens?
  • Mommy, our car smells like your breath.
  • Mom, do you know any animals that have only one nostril?
  • (indignantly) Mommy and Daddy have a slumber party EVERY NIGHT!
  • Daddy, I love you all the way to the *lid* of outer space.
  • Mommy, how did you decide what house to buy? Because ours is made of brick and not straw?
  • Don’t eat my brother! He looks tasty… but he isn’t.
  • I want to live with you when I grow up. You’ll have to buy me a BIG car seat.
  • Mom, if we ever get another mommy, I’ll miss you.
  • (to Graham) I am SO the boss of you.
  • (after we explained that July 4th is the USA’s birthday) But… America can’t eat cake!
  • Annoying people make annoying choices.
  • It’s a pleasure to have a purple name.
  • Want to hear a joke? Okay, a little girl crossed the road… without her mommy! HA!
  • I think we should call that bird “Cat”
  • Do mermaids go potty? Do they have to wash their hands?
  • Graham! Mommy’s skirt is NOT a napkin!
  • (after I set down her lunch in front of her) Mom, is this some kind of joke?
  • Does President Obama work hard? Day and night? He needs to sleep. That’s just not healthy.
  • Dad…how much is ten plus frog?

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