Imagine that you work in an office. But at this job you wake up in the morning already at your cubicle. Before you can grab some coffee, or even pee, there are two demanding coworkers hovering over you. They follow you to the bathroom. They bark orders while you eat. They need projects to be completed before the last one is cleaned up. They create busy work and fight amongst themselves and rarely give positive feedback. Lunch “break” is more of the same. Dinner, same. You get two hours of “free time” a night, but half of it is spent preparing for the next work day. No matter how early you go to bed, you most likely will be woken up at least once to work. Oh… and no weekends.
Would you apply for this job? Of course not. But that’s what the life of a stay-at-home-mom feels like sometimes.
Am I complaining about my lame little 1st world problems? Yes. But it’s entirely possible for a person to go completely bonkers in a safe cozy home stocked with food and equipped modern conveniences. I’m just trying to gain some perspective and explain why I’ve been a big giant raw nerve lately.
Let’s brainstorm some of our Roadblocks to Sanity:
- The end of naps means the end of any kind of daily break for me.
- Violet and Graham are not “easy” kids. They don’t play independently for more than 5 minutes (and trust me, I’ve being trying to instill this ability in them forever). They need more stimulation and energy than I can possibly give them by myself.
- Graham is unbelievably mommy-centric. He will not allow Rob to do the most mundane chore for him. Put on socks? NEVER! Make lunch? FORGET IT! (Tickle monster chase? Sometimes…. ) It’s much easier to give in than withstand yet another hour of screaming. The result is that Rob is on the sidelines at a time in our parenting lives when I need more help than ever. This is seriously frustrating for a great father and husband.
- Because of the above, our to-do list grows ever longer and more overwhelming.
So what can I do about this? I’ve got some ideas:
- Sit in a coffee shop with my computer both mornings they’re in school. SIT. JUST SIT! Try not to spend the entire time working.
- Spend more time with friends. Drag myself there. I always feel better afterwards.
- Eat well, exercise, vitamins… yada yada
- go out on more dates
- more wine?
Any others? I know this stage is not forever. And please understand that I also realize how lucky I am to have healthy kids and a wonderful husband. Nevertheless, I’m endlessly surprised at the always-changing ways this whole parenting thing is HARD. We want to find ways to enjoy it, not fight it.
Thankfully, no office coworkers are as cute or sweet as Violet and Graham… and I’m assuming they don’t snuggle as well.