Associated Press Release
Scientists around the world are baffled by the seemingly overnight transformation of a sweet, happy, angelic, amiable toddler to a demanding, grouchy, hysterical, selfish volcano of ear-piercing screams. This occurred shortly after his second birthday.
Authorities warn anyone coming into contact with this volatile creature to exercise extreme caution. The causes of his excessive mood swings are under investigation, but so far seem to follow no logic or pattern. The shrieking has been recorded at decibels higher than any other human sound ever produced. Prolonged exposure to these screams will result in brain damage. The length of these events were previously thought to have been impossible for humans, while still maintaining a functioning metabolic system. DO NOT, under any circumstances, look the animal in the eye while he is in this dangerous state. Do not speak to him. Do not touch him. Back away slowly and leave the room.
Recent studies have shown that placing a bowl of food or cup of water near his door many reduce violent tendencies and shorten outbursts. Training programs and Post Traumatic Stress Counseling have begun for his sister and her parents.