NOT ENOUGH COFFEE by C Lifford (based on a true story)

Scene: early morning. kitchen.

Harried MOM attempts to cut bagel while hysterically screaming young children fight over a yellow balloon.

DAUGHTER

(shrieking) He wants my balloon!!!

MOM

(tersely) You have two balloons. Stop screaming. Share.

SON

(shrieking)

MOM

(frustratedly hacking at bagel with knife) Stop screaming right now or the balloons go away.

SON & DAGHTER

(ear-piercing shrieking continues)

MOM

(turns quickly with knife in hand, stabs both balloons)

Pan to shocked DAD. Pan back to smiling MOM.

Rob L. January 15, 2009 at 6:06 pm | Permalink

Looking back on it, it really was rather awesome.
Mom January 15, 2009 at 6:18 pm | Permalink

Oh, yes…the stab the balloons consequence. I remember it well! It’s so damn gratifying!
Regina January 15, 2009 at 7:01 pm | Permalink

That’s hilarious.
jodi January 15, 2009 at 9:43 pm | Permalink

oh, man, that was satisfying even just reading it. Awe. Some.
Elizabeth January 15, 2009 at 11:10 pm | Permalink

LOL!
Rebecca January 16, 2009 at 9:47 am | Permalink

Yes, preach it sister. That is EXACTLY what I would have done!
Amber January 16, 2009 at 12:05 pm | Permalink

Ha Ha Ha Ha! I love this!!!! This is my true story too! You rock.
Cecil January 16, 2009 at 1:14 pm | Permalink

The pilot who landed in the middle of the Hudson, has NOTHING on you when it comes to quick, decisive action, Dear Girl!!! …a real hero to moms everywhere!
Kate January 18, 2009 at 7:59 pm | Permalink

haaa haaa haa! awesome!
Kardos January 19, 2009 at 2:08 pm | Permalink

That… is…. Awesome!!!

“I’ll give you something to cry about” to the EXTREME!!
Melanie January 19, 2009 at 11:39 pm | Permalink

Yes, that’s what I would have done, too. Well played, Cheris!
Stacy C January 22, 2009 at 5:04 pm | Permalink

oh my gosh, I am laughing so hard I am crying!! That is AWESOME.
Katie January 28, 2009 at 3:15 am | Permalink

I knew there was a reason you are my hero.