I’m just writing to apologize for giving you your first haircut. Thankfully you’re always in motion, so no one will notice that it’s a total hack-job. It’s just so hard to weld scissors while flailing toddler hands are batting at them. I’m not sure a professional could’ve done better. I think you’re happier with bangs, since you don’t have hair constantly in your eyes. I’m sorry… I know you liked ripping the barrettes off your head and eating them. But that’s probably not good for the digestion. I’m simply looking out for you, sweet girl. And besides, I could shave you bald and you’d still be the cutest. Just remember that next time I come after you with scissors.